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Posted on May 7, 2014

If you are separating and you have children you may want to keep these 10 points in mind.

1. Do not criticise the other parent and do not involve children in the argument.

2. Bear in mind the needs of the other parent.

3. Allowing the child to contact the other parent e.g. by telephone when they are not with them and being able to talk openly when they miss the other parent.

4. Before during and after the separation keep in mind that the child may feel confused and have contradictory feelings.

5. Take on board what the child is thinking and listen to what the child wants to discuss but do not hold the child out to make the decision.

6. Acknowledge that the children have their own friends and activities that need to be considered when arranging contact.

7. Remember that each parent may have different parenting styles and the different styles of parenting can complement each other if not dismissed by the other parent.

8. If a regular pattern for contact is agreed stick to this so that the child does not feel upset for a contact being cancelled.

9. As the child gets older remember to be adaptable to their needs which may change.

10. Let the children know that even though you have decided to separate both parents and everyone involved still loves the children and that living in 2 separate households can work.

Austin Chessell and Massy Ellesmere are Family Mediators at FAMIA.

Austin Chessell is also a Collaborative Family Solicitor at Feltons Solicitors


Phone: 07920 445832

Twitter: @FamilyLawLondon

» Filed Under Changes through divorce and seperation, Children in Divorce, Christmas Tips, Contact Matters, Dealing with Financial changes, Dealing With Step Families, Divorce, Divorce Tips, Effect of divorce on children, Family Mediation, Helping children through divorce & seperation, Legal Updates, Mother's day tips for separated Mums and Dads, Relationship, Surviving Divorce, Therapy, Tips on dealing with children, Tips on dealing with separation and Divorce, Tips on parenting, Tools helping you through seperation / divorce


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    Austin Chessell
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